Okay so last Thursday I got this Phormula 1 stuff in the mail. My buddy kept pushing me to try it, said it gave him crazy focus at work. Honestly? Felt sketched out at first. The tub looked like some cheap bodybuilder crap – flashy logo, giant "EXTREME" label. Almost threw it straight in the trash.
First Day Messing Around
Tore open the seal Friday morning before breakfast. Scooped one scoop into my coffee instead of creamer like the instructions said. Tasted like chalky dirt with hints of chemical strawberry. Almost puked right there in the kitchen sink. Poured extra sugar just to get it down.
About 40 minutes later, weird shit started happening. Heart started slamming against my ribs like a jackhammer walking up the subway stairs. Sweat patches under my armpits even though it was freezing outside. Felt way too amped up – started aggressively reorganizing my entire desk for no damn reason.
The "Focused" Phase (Kinda)
Once the heartbeat calmed down near lunchtime, I did feel kinda… sharp? Knocked out three client emails that I'd put off for days. Brain felt like sticky notes were finally staying put instead of flying away. Lasted maybe two hours tops before the crash hit.
Then BAM – 2 PM felt like getting hit by a tranquilizer dart. Yawned so hard my jaw cracked. Couldn't finish a sentence without zoning out mid-thought. Scrolled mindlessly on my phone for an hour straight instead of working. Total waste of afternoon.
Weekend Test Drive Disaster
Tried it again Saturday without caffeine thinking maybe coffee screwed it up. Big mistake. Got this nasty headache behind my left eye like a screwdriver digging in. Stomach did backflips until I vomited up my oatmeal around noon. Curled up on the couch with Netflix feeling like roadkill.
Sunday? Woke up shaking. Legit thought I caught the flu until I remembered the stupid powder. Hands trembled pouring cereal. Took three tries to stab the spoon into my yogurt cup. Canceled all plans and hid under blankets feeling like microwaved garbage.
Final Verdict?
Tub went straight into the dumpster Monday morning. Here's the play-by-play:
- "Energy boost" = jittery anxiety heartbeat & sweat stains
- Advertised focus = brief hyper-focus followed by zombie mode
- Physical side effects = shaky hands, headaches, puking
- Productivity = ruined a whole weekend plus Monday recovery
Honestly thought I might be dying Sunday night googling "heart palpitations + supplement overdose" in bed. Save your cash and just drink coffee. Or ya know… sleep.
